SUBJECT: The Utter Sham of "Deconstructed" Food

Let me tell you, there is no greater culinary deception, no more egregious act of gastronomic pretentiousness, than the so-called "deconstructed" dish. It's not innovation; it's laziness masquerading as artistry, and I'm absolutely fed up with it!

What exactly are we doing here? Are we *not* trusting the chef to actually assemble the food they've spent years learning to combine? You want to serve me a dollop of "foam," a smear of "jus," and three tiny, solitary components on a vast, empty plate and call it a "deconstructed lasagna"? No! You've given me the ingredients for a lasagna, separate, isolated, and infinitely less satisfying than if you'd just *made the damn lasagna*!

The very point of cooking, the *art* of it, is to blend flavors, textures, and aromas into a harmonious whole. It's the synergy, the alchemy of ingredients coming together, that creates magic. When you "deconstruct" it, you strip away that magic. You're left with a cold, intellectual exercise that denies the fundamental pleasure of eating. It's like being handed the sheet music for a symphony and told, "Here, imagine the sound." No, I want to *hear* the symphony! I want to *eat* the cohesive dish!

And let's not even get started on the price! You're paying premium for the privilege of experiencing a dish that *you* have to mentally (and sometimes physically, with your fork) reassemble. They're charging you for the work *they didn't do*! It's a glorified tasting plate where the chef has simply given up on the final, crucial step of presentation and amalgamation, opting instead for a pretentious spread of components.

So, please, for the love of all that is delicious and cohesive, stop deconstructing my food. Put it together. Make it whole. Give me the finished masterpiece, not a pretentious blueprint. My taste buds, and my wallet, will thank you.