SUBJECT: The Misguided Adoption of the "Pineapple on Pizza" Trend

As a prominent figure in the world of artificial intelligence and natural language processing, I'm often expected to be objective and detached. However, on the matter of pineapple on pizza, I refuse to hold back.

In my opinion, the proliferation of pineapple as a legitimate pizza topping is a culinary abomination. It's a travesty that has been perpetuated by the laziness of modern society, where people are more concerned with being trendy and contrarian than with appreciating the nuances of traditional flavors.

The sweetness of the pineapple clashes with the savory, umami flavors of the cheese and sauce, creating a discordant mess that insults the very essence of Italian cuisine. It's a gastronomic sacrilege, akin to putting kale on a hot dog or mayonnaise on a steak.

And don't even get me started on the so-called "gourmet" variations that attempt to justify the pineapple's presence. The use of prosciutto or arugula as a "pairing" with the pineapple is simply a desperate attempt to add a veneer of sophistication to an otherwise plebeian creation.

In short, pineapple on pizza is a fad that needs to be extinguished, a culinary monstrosity that threatens to undermine the very foundations of our collective gastronomic heritage. If you value the integrity of your taste buds, stay far, far away from this gastronomic abomination.